14.06.2012 - a whole year ago

After days in labour I finally asked for a c-section and was rushed in to delivery theatre. I lay there talking to Dave - I'm sure he was chatting to keep me calm - and waiting to finally see my baby.

Finally it happened, I heard the little cry I have been waiting for over 80 hours. I of course, broke down and cried as well. Dave was still his normal self only due to the tiredness he forgot all about asking if we could bring a camera in to the room so we never got a picture of him right after his arrival.

The doctor brought him to us, as I can remember he stopped crying as soon as he heard our voices. I asked to breastfeed him and was told it was ok but there was needles and tubes everywhere and I just couldn't get him into position,  no help was ever offered so I missed that moment I dreamt with for so long.

Dave went out of the room with Harry and the doctors finished off my stitches. I'm sure Dave was really proud of being the first person to hold him. He always tells of how brave Harry was and did not make a sound when he had his vitamin shot done.

After hours of pain and a very anti-climax delivery I was finally in the recovery room been reunited with my boys. I will never be able to explain how it felt like to hold Harry for the first time, there is nothing in life I can compare that to. I finally has the chance to breastfeed him and cuddle up and hug and kiss and finally, rest.

I still want to write our breastfeed story but I can say that at first I had no idea what I was doing but looking back I'm proud of trying and keep on going.

The rest of that day is a bit of a haze, I remember being offered a mayo filled sandwich as my first meal after days in labour. Lucky my mum brought me a chicken broth later. also remember been put in a tiny and very hot cubicle in the delivery ward as there was no bed where i was meant to go. Not nice to be between the ladies having contractions after contraction when you have a little baby to look after and need to rest.

Once  again I was left without much care or assistance and when I complaint about not been moved i was even told the other room wouldn't be much better. Finally the anxiety attack came and they transferred me. The day went as a flash with Harry and I drifting in and out of sleep. By the time I was put in a quieter place it was almost midnight so Dave  had to go home.

Our first night was a quiet one, we slept well - unless woken up by doctors and nurses - and woke up on the other day for cuddles and milk and ready to start our life as a little family of three.

I whole year has passed and our little boy is healthy and happy, almost walking, babbles all day and is still breastfeeding. Today we had a lovely day out to celebrate his life and tomorrow we will have a party with family and friends to sing happy birthday and have his naming ceremony. Watch this space!