almost 72 hours on

and the worse was still to come.

on my second day in hospital was I finally transferred to the delivery ward. Dave rushed back to the hospital from home and came to stay with me.

That day is a bit of a blur. I remember waiting for an epidural from 9am until about 4pm Remember being abandoned by a midwife who was always too busy to stay with us and help us through the day and  couldn't be bother with trying to find out when I would get some pain relief. It's worth saying that i suffer from a very bad back and by the end of 9 months carrying a heavy belly, I couldn't tell what was worse, the contractions or the back pain,

I spent most of that day having really heavy contractions then hallucinating and dozing off. In my head, whenever I went off my last thought was; so that's what happens when you die. I know it might just sound like a big old drama to some people but after days of heavy contractions and knowing your baby no longer had all that much water, is hard to keep your head straight and passing out every half an hour or so really doesn't help,

For a while what kept my sanity was the music we had playing on the background and the sound of the baby heart on the monitor, whenever I passed out I could still hear that and those sounds made me think I was still alive.

To make matters worse my mother arrived from Brazil on that same day. Luckily I have booked a cab to pick her up at the airport it also helped that by the time she joined us I have finally had my epidural and even though was still off every now and then, I'm sure it wold have been a lot worse had she see me earlier.

My best luck on that day was to have Dave by my side, he was my rock. From helping with my mum's arrival to guide me through the contractions and stand there waiting for me to come around he made up for the lack of care from the midwife and more.

Another god sent was this Italian midwife student who came into the room at some point and actually noticed how distressed we were and made her business to get the doctors to see me and sort out some pain relief. She even came in on the next day to meet Harry and make sure we were alright.

By midnight and now on the 3rd midwife, at least the one was actually helpful, I was told I was still on 5cm of dilation which reduced me to tears. I have been in labour for almost 72 hours and they were still insisting on the natural birth thing as I just did not have clarity enough to ask for it myself.

Between Dave being exhausted, my mum panicking, my bursting out crying when I heard a baby next door and thought that was Harry and my  ever so strong contractions we kept on going with epidural shots every half an hour or so.

By 5am on the 14th of June I was still at 7cm, my mum haven't even been home and Dave no longer had energy left in his body, to the point that he could no longer hold the gas-and-air for me. I looked at the doctor and finally asked for a c-section; cut me open - I said - I have nothing left on me.

It was as simple as that and in less than half an hour we were in the delivery theater being prepped for our baby's birth.