our breastfeeding story - part II / World Breastfeeding Week

always loved the sight of the milk running down his cheek

so as I told you yesterday, Harry, Dave and I had a rough start with breastfeeding but after a few weeks we were finally "in business". Harry was still relying on the breast shield for his feed though, that meant a lot of fussing, crying, pinching and stress - for the two of us. He would get really upset with the slow flow, grab the nipple shield and throw it far away from us.

One lovely day, after attending a friend's baby shower, we were stuck in the district line for a while, it was hot as hell and little guy screamed for about 7 stops. I thought he was just hot and stripped him down to his nappy. When we finally arrived at the right station to change trains, I finally realise my screaming was in fact hungry and the awful truth hit me; I would have to BF my fussy fidgety baby at the underground platform whilst trains would arrive and leave and people would come and go passed us.

For a second I thought; we can probably make it to home. That thought didn't last as the scream escalated and I realised that it wasn't fair to let my little baby boy cry in hunger just so I could keep my decency. So I set on the bench, grabbed the breast shield and tried to cover up with a large cloth. BIG MISTAKE!!!

As soon as Harry felt something over his head he started to wave his arms and scream even harder. in the blink of an eye the silicon shield was on the floor and no longer had how to feed him. Luckily my mum was still with us then, she grabbed the shield, gave it a clean with hand sanitiser and washed it off with some water we had in our bag then we were stuck at that platform for a good half an hour while Harry gladly enjoyed his milk.

After occasions like that I kept a bottle of ready made formula in Harry's bag, just for emergencies. Of course little guy had other ideas in mind and that "break the Glass" plan never really worked.

When my mum returned to Brasil, little guy was 2 1/2 months and I finally ventured out to our local breastfeeding cafe. I hoped they would be able to help me in teaching Harry how to feed without the bloody shield. The room where they gathered was so so warm, so about 2 minutes from our arrival little guy was already demonstrating the power of his lungs and very soon the ladies running the group realised things weren't as simple as they assumed it would be when I first arrived there. I was offered a home visit but my baby brain forgot to call them back and that never happened.

A couple of times I was told that unless he learnt to BF without the shield by 3 months of age he just wouldn't at all and a few weeks later I proved them wrong!

We used to attend a Sure Start group for new mums, one day I set off with Harry and had this feeling that I have left the shield behind - by now I used to walk around with 2 pairs in his bag to avoid problems. After the playgroup meeting it was feeding time, little guy started his routine and I just did not know what to do. I double checked the bag and just could not find any shields so to try my luck I picked him up and offered the breast...surprise surprise! He had a lovely long feed and I felt like I had just reached a huuuge milestone. I spoke to the other mums about it but don't think they really understood how amazing that was for us.

That day I arrived home determined to carry on BF Harry with no shield. Unfortunately things weren't that straight forward but with a lot of Patience and having learnt to read little guys cues to feed, I took my time and we finally managed it.

I then started to count the days, it was one, two, three....seven....15 days and finally I could proudly say; my little guys needs no more shields to feed :-)

Life was now a lot easier, I would feed him wherever, whenever! More! Because he got used to the slow flow from the shield he would now feed in 10 minutes - at first that got me worried as he wasn't even 4 months but after a few phones calls to health visitors we got to the conclusion that he was just good at his job of feeding and got what he needed quickly so as a bonus we no longer had to stay stuck for half an hour every feed time.

The best thing of all? His maaaassive smile - with lips and eyes - whenever he finished a lovely feed as to say; look mummy, we did it!

Our breastfeeding story - World Breastfeeding Week

from: La Leche League

For a while I have been meaning to tell our breastfeeding story - not mine, not Harry's, not Dave's but ours. So being World Breastfeeding Week I thought it was about time.

After 4 very stressful days, Harry was finally in my arms. Our first feed is a bit of a blur, I can remember offering him the breast but not been sure of what I was doing. People don't tell you but when babies are born they don't know how to drink their milk. So there we were, mum and baby taking their first few steps into theirs breastfeeding (BF) journey.

Through that day I just tried to feed him whenever he cried but really I can't remember much of it.

On the next day we got up and I tried feeding him, for a while I thought we were doing super well, of course I had no idea "well actually looked like".

I would feed him until he let go of the breast and thought he was done but, not long later, Harry would be crying and it was a while until a midwife showed me that I could just put my finger near his mouth and, if he was still hungry, he would try to feed. That was a helpful tip only I wish it came followed by some help on how to feed him and how to know if he was latching on ok.

Through that day I carried on feeding him on demand, family would come to see us and he would be hanging off me. I was perfectly comfortable with that, even though my mum wasn't. She believes you need to cover up if you are BF, I do understand where that comes from but when you are trying to learn how to feed a fidgety baby, who seems to over heat with anything, keep my decency was the last thing in my mind.

I spent 2 days in the hospital and during that time, I have to say, I did not feel I had much support with BF. With the massive campaign done by NHS and the fact that hospital won't even supply formula, I wasn't at all impressed with the lack of a trained professional dedicated to help you in such delicate a moment.

By the time I got home with little bundle, I was already in terrible pain and BF was torture. My nipples were super sore but luckily I had nipple shields at home and so started a saga that would last 3 whole months (there will be a whole post on that).

after  a few days at home my nipples were super painful and my left breast started to go really hot and hard. Harry didn't like the left side much and the milk has been building up, looking back, I think I was a step away from mastitis. One afternoon Harry was screaming but no milk would come out. It was horrible. I never felt so useless in my whole life. My little baby was hungry and there was nothing I could do for him. I burst out crying, my mum took Harry away and comforted him, my gorgeous little boy cried himself to sleep, hungry. That was so so painful.

My mother helped me massaging the breasts and putting cold compress on them. Dave then helped me calming down, we goggled ways to keep things going and later that day, when it was feeding time, I took Harry to my bedroom where it was quiet, put our lullaby CD on  - to calm the two of us down - then I took a deep breath and went for it. It worked!

Now the milks was coming out and I had a content little guy. Still needed to use the shield as he would fuss and not feed without it, I didn't know by then but he had learnt to feed with the shield and had no clue of what to do without it. It was hard to feed him if I was out and the stress almost made me quit the BF thing all together. It may sound horrible but - thankfully - the idea of stopping made me feel too guilty so I kept going.

The thought of Harry being hungry for whatever reason, however, made me pop to the super market and buy him a box of formula milk just in case. That box of formula was the ghost of the BF problems we had. Whenever things were hard - specially on those days when little guy wouldn't have a day time kip and feed every hour - daddy D. would suggest; use the formula, it's in the cupboard. I know he meant well and never ever had anything against me BF Harry but in my head, I was just too scared that the would give up his mummy's milk to actually try anything.

It was a super stressful time but I'm happy we made it through it

I will post more on our Breastfeeding story on the next few days, watch this space!!!