Christmas Eve, lights and a prayer for Matilda Mae

Tonight as families settle in for days of celebration please spare a thought for those who are missing their oved ones.

Tonight as Harry went to bed I gave him my bless, as every night, and said a little prayer as I always do, whenever im going to bed myself, I'll pray again and, as always, thank god for allowing our boy to have a happy and healthy life and beg for it to be a long one.

Tonight, thinking of my boy and the never ending love I carry for him I pray for those families who had their little angels taken away far too early.  I pray for Matilda Mae, the miracle baby who was too precious for earth and had to go live with angels. I pray that on this Christmas Day her family can find peace in their hearts.

Tonight I take a moment from my own family's celebrations to ask people to help The Lullaby Trust by donation and telling people about it, so they can help stopping Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and help those families I now pray for. Just go to www.justgiving.com/Aida-Leal and donate. 

I wish you all a Christmas of light and peace. 

Flashback Friday - Matilda Mae and The Lullaby Trust

Back in February I came across the story of Jennie from Edspire, who lost her 9 month old baby girl to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome ( also known as Cot Death). She put her gorgeous and healthy angel to bed one evening not knowing that her baby would never wake up again.

Matilda Mae was this beautiful smiley girl, she left behind her parents, her brother and sister and they all miss baby Tilda very much. Jennie finds comfort on writing her blog and by doing that she opened a window into her world of suffering and bereavement. Her words are sad but powerful and beautiful and filled with love.

By writing about her loss Jennie brought home the fact that Sudden Infant Death is real, it does happen. On the night when i read her story, I dried my tears then rushed into Harry's room to make sure he was ok. My boy was sound asleep. My heart was pounding and the tears wouldn't stop. I think every mother who read her story felt her pain - you don't really know what that pain is until it happens to you of course but the fear of losing a child is real for most of us.

At the time my lill guy was suffering from ear infections on and off and we had clothes and blankets hanging over the sides of his cot, it was practical having them to hand during the night. That evening I took them away, took anything that was in his cot. He didn't even used to roll over but I couldn't risk having a cushion on his bed. That night I struggled to sleep, Jennie struggles to sleep every night.

Over 300 babies still die every year of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), in the UK.

Every year there are another 300 Baby Tilda, 300 Jennie. Parents are left with their arms empty, they have no baby to hold. 

Through Jennie I've learnt of The Lullaby Trust, they provide families with support and advice. They fund research on SIDS and provide support to families affected by sudden death of a baby or toddler.

I'm lucky enough to have a healthy and lively child at home. I'm lucky for waking up to his smiles every morning. Every night i pray for him to have a long and happy life, I love him so much my heart aches. The thought of not being able to kiss my boy, getting his cuddles, hearing his laughter, that alone is unbearable.

Every time I read one of Jennie's posts I wish I could hug her and take away her pain, unfortunately that is not possible. I have then decided to help in a more practical way, by helping to spread the word about the Lullaby Trust and raising funds for their research and support services.

So this December I will wear a silly Christmas Jumper to work every Friday in hope that people will sponsor me and help raising funds for the Lullaby Trust. All details will go online in a few days, after all, the first Friday is 6 days away. For now you can help spreading the word. I'll be tweeting under #christmasjumperfridays and sharing information here on the blog and on our Facebook page. Our JustGiving page will be live soon so please, watch this space!

Christmas starts here!

So on Monday I dressed Harry on a very cute Christmas jumper and set off to London Bridge to my first networking event in the past couple of years.

I was looking forward to meeting other bloggers and starting to build bridges. It was an event sponsored by Morrisons, where they show cased their Christmas range - so I was also looking forward to eating some mince pies and to getting myself into Christmas mode.

Of course I was late, as usual - which is silly since I live in east London and it didn't take me that long at all getting there - and by the time I arrived people were already having a nice hot drink and chatting away.

Now, I don't know what sort of stupid idea was it that made me believe I'd be able to take Harry to an event like that and still talk to anyone else. From the second I let him off his pram the lill guy was running up and down the room, like a lion cub that has just been set free on the wild.

See, in general he is a real good boy but he is also real active and will run back and forth until he is knackered - and that's exactly what happened, for a whole hour he would run from one side of the room to another completely oblivious to the great tips from Executive Chef of Product Development at Morrisons chef Neil Nugent was giving us all.

Yes, I was the crazy mum with the ultra active little boy wearing a Santa hat. Which is one of the reasons why all the photos I have of him look like this

     


It's a shame I could not interact with people properly - I did however managed to nod and say sorry for all the running around  - but between keeping an eye out for the little runner and sampling some of the gorgeous Christmas desserts they had laid out for us, I at least, managed to note a few of Nugent's cooking tips.

My favorite one was about NOT boiling potatoes when making mash or roast potatoes. We call it part-boiling but really we should cook it in hot water for about 10 minutes until its fluffy but not let it boil. check!

He also said that we should not cover the Turkey with foils as that will steam it and, in turn, over cook it. Neil also recommended lard as a suitable replacement to butter to make your Turkey a dairy free dish.

I didn't managed to try that much of the food either - there was a lot on offer and lill guy had gingerbread biscuits and chocolate panettone and all sorts of sugary treats we don't usually give to him - but I did have a bite of Hot Chocolate Fudge Crown which not only will look great as part of the Christmas table but it was delicious, moist and rich. I also love the look of Roonie The reindeer Cake.

the happiest Gingerbread Man I've ever seeing

I might buy this one a decoration this year, isn't it beautiful?

             

Morrisons has over 700 items on their Christmas Menu and - I think  it's safe to day - one of the best Mince Pies in town!...in fact I'm having one right now with a cup of tea, you know...to help me remembering everything that happened on Monday!

All in all it was a great event and such a lovely way to kick start the festive season, hopefully next time I actually talk to people. Well done and thank you BritMums for putting this together and Morrisons for your great Christmas selection this year!...and the delicious goodies bag :)

After all that dessert eating and a two hours kip on his way home, a quick stop for a little healthy bite to eat, after all, it isn't Christmas just yet!

Not so Silent Sunday

We had a busy few days this week, which isn't unusual on this time of the year. With me working Thursday to Sunday there isn't much time left to enjoy family life together but that is only for a few weeks and come Christmas I'll finally be able to take some much needed time off work.

Of course having a ultra active toddler at home is "holidays mummy but not as you know it". still, not having to commute or rush around to get chores done is already a good break.

Until then I'll try to enjoy myself, family and friends the best I can.

Today I meet a very dear friend for some child-free catch up accompanied by cheese and wine, not a bad end to a work week is it?

Tomorrow we start the week networking with other bloggers at the Christmas Networking event put together by BritMums. I have been looking forward to what will be my first blog related event in two year.

It seemed hard at first, the thought of taking Harry with me but then BritMums started nice buzz on Twitter and helped me realized I wont be the only one trying to look after a toddler between a chat and a canape.

So here is to the start of a lovely week and the count down to Christmas - 1 month to go!!!!!

Saturday is Xmas Caption Day

So the day finally came for Harry to meet Santa. Last year he was ill with ear infections from October all the way through to February, so that never happened.

Last week I took Harry to the Christmas Fayre at a local church, just to test the meeting Father Christmas waters. It was hilarious - said the slightly evil mum - he was really happy and waving for Santa, until the door closed behind us and I tried to sit by the big white beared guy in the red suit...then out came the tears.

Go on, leave us a caption showing how bad I am!

 

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One more sleep till Santa! Already?

If you thought I went on holiday and abandoned the blog I wouldn't blame you. I hardly posted anything this month, not even Harry's 6 months milestones. Never stopped by to tell you I started working (just a few hours a week from home but that's something already). Even my Flashback Fridays and Silent Sundays were forgotten in a few occasions.

What if I tell you that the first cold I told you about became an ear infection that is still going on? Today Harry finishes his second bottle of antibiotics and I can only hope his body has responded to the medication this time around. Would you forgive me then?

I've been ill as well but my main problem at the moment really are the sleepless nights. Lill guy no longer manage long sleeps and at some nights that means I'm up every hour. I do hope with all my heart that really is just because of his ear and all the medication he is taking at the moment.

no more playing on the floor until his ears are better so playing mat
on sofa bed instead

Of course I have no illusions and something tells me he won't go back to being that amazing lill sleeper he used to be AND I can tell that once he is better his bloody tooth that had been bothering him for months will finally decide to cut through, just you watch it!

The result of that - apart from grumpy baby who's fed up with being in pain and grumpy mum who an only daydream with a night's sleep - is that most of my Christmas traditions were left to the one side this year. No Winter Wonderland, no cute little Santa's helper outfit for Harry - by the time I managed to go to the shops they were all gone, all I could find was a rather cheep looking baby's 1st Christmas hat but of course I got that one lol.

Our presents were finally wrapped this weekend - luckily I always get our pressies online around October/November otherwise I would've had to face the masses this weekend.

In fact I almost cancelled Christmas, really. That happened when on Thursday I was finally out to get the final bits I needed for the big day and the other half calls to say he had the vomiting bug. Seriously??? I felt like sitting right down and cry, everything going so wrong. On the top of it all I lost a very dear member of my brazilian family just last Sunday and i know their Christmas won't be the best this year.

Thankfully the bug was just a stomach one and after a few days of little food and lots of rest today he is back at work. In terms of my family back home we are all searching for solace on the fact that my dear sister on law - who was more like a sister to me as she knew me since I was a baby - is now gone but my parent's 3rd granchild was born as aunt W was being buried and now her very own grandson is due within a few days. So now Christmas is back on track.

My poor boys on cozy sofa bed.

With everything that happened I decided to change my food shopping - I do that online as well so last minute changes are no problem - I decided to cheat big time and got everything ready to cook. This year I am only cooking a few bits from scratch rather then the whole roast dinner as I usually do.
Also have most foods ready for the family on Boxing Day - to be honest since Christmas to me is being with the family I'm more excited about the 26th than the 25th December this year.


Finally feels like it's Christmas and right now I can't wait to see Harry opening his presents.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Baby's 1st cold

disclaimer: this post contains reference to bodily functions, both baby and adult ones,so if you are not kin on it please move along . If you don't mind those things read on and then let me know have would you cope with the same situation. This was baby's first cold and unfortunately I know it won't be the last so share your thoughts for future reference!!!

In his sleeping bag Sunday morning watching cartoons, as you do

Yes ladies and gentleman, it happened. The cold whether came, babies in the neighborhood were hit one by one and then came our turn. It started as just a blocked nose and even though I know that's how a cold starts for me, I did not think it would happen. Not this early, not on this whether, not on the week when we had so much planned.

The blocked nose got worse and before I knew it lill guy was taking breaks while feeding to catch his breath...poor little guy. off to the doctors we went and the best he could do was giving us this vapor medicine for him to inhale from warm water. Now try to get a 5 month old baby - almost 6!!! - to inhale anything! At first I thought he would try to grab the jug with the liquid so I held on to it very tightly but no, he actually tried to drink it.

Yap the exclusively breastfed baby who won't take a bottle or sippy cup or anything, tried to drink his medicine from a 1lt glass jug.

 His nose is now runny and i finally found out how to use one of those nose suction cleaner things. It's night time and we are up every half an hour. Between dummy runs, restless feeds and baby waking up full of beans out of the blue, mummy never managed much shut eye at all. Even worse when you seat there feeling terribly sorry for your little boy who ends up getting mouths full of catarrh together with his milk.

The weekend comes and brings your visit who's coming to stay for a few days. Luckily she's a great friend and won't be put off by the mess in the house. No time or energy left for house choirs I'm afraid. Even worse now that mummy's throat is a bit ticklish, even worse now that for the first time in year and 2 months mummy got her period. I walk into the front room and declare to daddy; this is it, I'm in hell.

 Even though all of our weekend plans felt apart I was really happy Q was with us, nothing like have someone who's feeling fresh and is dying to see your little one. Not only she played with him loads giving me a bit of a break, she also cooked for us a couple of time and helped me taking my mind off things by joining us during our walks - baby wouldn't sleep so had to take him out even though it was freezing outside. Unfortunately there was no Winter Wonderland, mulled wine or churros for us neither Q and daddy had their Brasilian beer as they usually do but there was a little visit to the farmers market and the Christmas tree went up as planned.

Now mummy's cold is getting worse and even though baby is so lovely - even with a bad cold he laughs and plays most of the day - we know he isn't getting better. Off to the doctors we went again and now he has an ear infection. So antibiotics and Calpol it is and that night mummy finally got some sleep.

Q is now gone, daddy is back at work and is just baby and I at home all day; him with a nasty cough and but thankfully sleeping a bit during the day and me with the nastiest sinus infection I've ever had. I was dizzy and with a headache that burnt 24/7. My eyes were achy and my body just did not want to move but I did have Harry to look after. Even though I wanted to sleep I stayed awake, even though I wanted to rest I had to play, even though I did not want to eat , as a breastfeeding mum, I had to drag myself to the kitchen and sort some grub out.

Of course I could have spoke to the doctor when I took Harry to the gp, could have told her about my sinus pain and ask for medication but it seems when your little one is restless in your arms and the doctor is about to give you something that will calm him down, you just forget about your own pain. For a whole day I regretted that; I could have started on antibiotics with him and then we both would be on the mend.

Finally got to see the doctor about me, that's a rarity. Mummy is now on antibiotics and fir the first time in days only had a bit of a headache instead of the burning sensation all over my head and face.

On he next morning mummy is still ill but is much better and has a bit of energy. I gave the front room a bit of a tidy up and finally got a move on the rest of the Christmas decorations - getting the house ready for Christmas never took me so long, it's usually ready by the end of play on the 1st of December.

Today lill guy finishes his antibiotics but he is still on Calpol after a restless night when mummy decided not to give him any. Mummy still have a couple of days to go on her own medicine and hopefully by the time the weekend comes we are both 100% and his diarrhea - caused by all the drugs - is gone and we can finally find ourselves in a bit more of a Christmassy spirit.

That is it, not glamorous, not fun, not nice but the first cold has come and (almost) gone and life moves on. Lill guy is 6 months this weeks and we will finally start him on some solid foods hurray!!!