Harry is a big boy now - Flash Back Friday

I took a few weeks break from certain things in life, mainly to look after myself but also because I lost the space bar on my laptop :) I will write about the ME time part soon but for now a nice little post for Flashback Friday!

So my last post here was about Harry turning 14 months, what I didn't know was that he really was growing into a big boy. The day after my boy became one year and two months young, the one thing I have been waiting for, has finally happened; my gorgeous little boy stopped breastfeeding.

I never had a set time that I intended to breastfeed Harry for, I hoped I could do it for at least 6 months but never really planned when to stop.

When Harry was very little I used to pump milk and leave it with my mum whenever I had appointments to go to, breastfeeding was really stressful in the beginning so that was a big help. Looking back I realise that even then and even being my milk, he was never a fan of the bottle. If I left him milk on a Monday he wouldn't even try a bottle on the Tuesday. Basically he would take a bottle of my milk when needed but of course, wasn't too keen on it.

For some reason, I decided that whenever Harry turned 5 months I would start replacing his bed time feed by a bottle of formula and as you can probably guess, easier said than done. A couple of months later we found out that lill guy had an ear infection.

At that time both formula and food were no no so I had no option but carry on breastfeeding. That wasn't a problem then, I was working my KIT days from home and my gorgeous boy was sick for months so I was glad there was something I could do for him.

Once He was better from all the non stop ear infections and finally started to eat some food - not until he was 9 months old - we tried the bottle malarkey again, no success. Lill guy would scream and kick at the mere sight of that stuff. I knew then; weaning wouldn't be all that easy.

A whole lot of attempts and a bunch of months later, Harry turned 1. At 12 months of age milk is no longer a baby's main source of nutrition so we decided it was our best chance to give it another go.

It took us about a month and a half from start to finish and our little guy done so well with his new routine, he is such a good boy! I will write a post on how we've done it to share our experience and to hopefully help other parents out there, who might have the same problem - but that will be another day.

At this point I am still trying to get used to the idea of not breastfeeding my gorgeous little boy AND since we don't plan to have another baby, don't ever breastfeed - ever again. It was such an amazing experience and it thought me a lot about the kind of person I am. I had my reasons to stop  - a number of them - and am glad we've managed to do it in such a swift way but if I am 100% honest, I will miss those lovely unique moments. No nostalgia though as I don't believe in that!

Letter to Harry

My dear Harry, for a long time now I have been meaning to write you some letters, so I can keep them here and who knows, one day you might read them.

When the time comes, hopefully you will be reading in Portuguese and this is the reason why I created this .page for the Blog Sometimes life is hard and rushed, and it is easy to complain or just talk about our problems and we can forget to talk about the good things that happen in life. To stop this from happening I will write you letters about the incredible things that you bring to our lives - mine, Dad’s, and the whole family too.

If you are teenager when reading this then you will probably be a bit embarrassed about the theme but you needn’t be, breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. For a whole year mum breastfed you on demand and I do hope that by doing this I have given you the best possible start in life.

In this past month, Dad and I started to change our routine and wean you off the breast - I know I am the one who feeds you but Dad is always there helping by keep us calm or letting me take a nap in the afternoon after a sleepless night.
 

Weaning you is a slow process as both you and I have always enjoyed our little moments during the feeds so we both need to learn letting go.. Instead of your milk we give you a snack. Initially you got a little upset as you preferred  but I would pick you up and give you lots of cuddles and gradually you are getting used to.

Before, when I came home from work you would come running, asking me to pick you up and would nurse for about 15 minutes straight. It was something lovely to do, specially as we have been apart for a whole day so it gave us time to catch up. Now when I come home you come and give me a hug and kiss and then go back to playing with Dad. After that you spend the rest of the evening coming up to me with lovely hugs until bedtime.

You are only one year and two months old but you’re already so affectionate. I beg God every day that you can grow with this affection and hopefully, in return, life to be good to you.

In the last 3 nights we stopped feeding you at bedtime, you will only wake up once for your milk so I think you are ok with it.

My baby this growing up and turning into a beautiful little boy. Mummy loves you very much, and she always will... no matter what!

our breastfeeding story - part II / World Breastfeeding Week

always loved the sight of the milk running down his cheek

so as I told you yesterday, Harry, Dave and I had a rough start with breastfeeding but after a few weeks we were finally "in business". Harry was still relying on the breast shield for his feed though, that meant a lot of fussing, crying, pinching and stress - for the two of us. He would get really upset with the slow flow, grab the nipple shield and throw it far away from us.

One lovely day, after attending a friend's baby shower, we were stuck in the district line for a while, it was hot as hell and little guy screamed for about 7 stops. I thought he was just hot and stripped him down to his nappy. When we finally arrived at the right station to change trains, I finally realise my screaming was in fact hungry and the awful truth hit me; I would have to BF my fussy fidgety baby at the underground platform whilst trains would arrive and leave and people would come and go passed us.

For a second I thought; we can probably make it to home. That thought didn't last as the scream escalated and I realised that it wasn't fair to let my little baby boy cry in hunger just so I could keep my decency. So I set on the bench, grabbed the breast shield and tried to cover up with a large cloth. BIG MISTAKE!!!

As soon as Harry felt something over his head he started to wave his arms and scream even harder. in the blink of an eye the silicon shield was on the floor and no longer had how to feed him. Luckily my mum was still with us then, she grabbed the shield, gave it a clean with hand sanitiser and washed it off with some water we had in our bag then we were stuck at that platform for a good half an hour while Harry gladly enjoyed his milk.

After occasions like that I kept a bottle of ready made formula in Harry's bag, just for emergencies. Of course little guy had other ideas in mind and that "break the Glass" plan never really worked.

When my mum returned to Brasil, little guy was 2 1/2 months and I finally ventured out to our local breastfeeding cafe. I hoped they would be able to help me in teaching Harry how to feed without the bloody shield. The room where they gathered was so so warm, so about 2 minutes from our arrival little guy was already demonstrating the power of his lungs and very soon the ladies running the group realised things weren't as simple as they assumed it would be when I first arrived there. I was offered a home visit but my baby brain forgot to call them back and that never happened.

A couple of times I was told that unless he learnt to BF without the shield by 3 months of age he just wouldn't at all and a few weeks later I proved them wrong!

We used to attend a Sure Start group for new mums, one day I set off with Harry and had this feeling that I have left the shield behind - by now I used to walk around with 2 pairs in his bag to avoid problems. After the playgroup meeting it was feeding time, little guy started his routine and I just did not know what to do. I double checked the bag and just could not find any shields so to try my luck I picked him up and offered the breast...surprise surprise! He had a lovely long feed and I felt like I had just reached a huuuge milestone. I spoke to the other mums about it but don't think they really understood how amazing that was for us.

That day I arrived home determined to carry on BF Harry with no shield. Unfortunately things weren't that straight forward but with a lot of Patience and having learnt to read little guys cues to feed, I took my time and we finally managed it.

I then started to count the days, it was one, two, three....seven....15 days and finally I could proudly say; my little guys needs no more shields to feed :-)

Life was now a lot easier, I would feed him wherever, whenever! More! Because he got used to the slow flow from the shield he would now feed in 10 minutes - at first that got me worried as he wasn't even 4 months but after a few phones calls to health visitors we got to the conclusion that he was just good at his job of feeding and got what he needed quickly so as a bonus we no longer had to stay stuck for half an hour every feed time.

The best thing of all? His maaaassive smile - with lips and eyes - whenever he finished a lovely feed as to say; look mummy, we did it!

Our breastfeeding story - World Breastfeeding Week

from: La Leche League

For a while I have been meaning to tell our breastfeeding story - not mine, not Harry's, not Dave's but ours. So being World Breastfeeding Week I thought it was about time.

After 4 very stressful days, Harry was finally in my arms. Our first feed is a bit of a blur, I can remember offering him the breast but not been sure of what I was doing. People don't tell you but when babies are born they don't know how to drink their milk. So there we were, mum and baby taking their first few steps into theirs breastfeeding (BF) journey.

Through that day I just tried to feed him whenever he cried but really I can't remember much of it.

On the next day we got up and I tried feeding him, for a while I thought we were doing super well, of course I had no idea "well actually looked like".

I would feed him until he let go of the breast and thought he was done but, not long later, Harry would be crying and it was a while until a midwife showed me that I could just put my finger near his mouth and, if he was still hungry, he would try to feed. That was a helpful tip only I wish it came followed by some help on how to feed him and how to know if he was latching on ok.

Through that day I carried on feeding him on demand, family would come to see us and he would be hanging off me. I was perfectly comfortable with that, even though my mum wasn't. She believes you need to cover up if you are BF, I do understand where that comes from but when you are trying to learn how to feed a fidgety baby, who seems to over heat with anything, keep my decency was the last thing in my mind.

I spent 2 days in the hospital and during that time, I have to say, I did not feel I had much support with BF. With the massive campaign done by NHS and the fact that hospital won't even supply formula, I wasn't at all impressed with the lack of a trained professional dedicated to help you in such delicate a moment.

By the time I got home with little bundle, I was already in terrible pain and BF was torture. My nipples were super sore but luckily I had nipple shields at home and so started a saga that would last 3 whole months (there will be a whole post on that).

after  a few days at home my nipples were super painful and my left breast started to go really hot and hard. Harry didn't like the left side much and the milk has been building up, looking back, I think I was a step away from mastitis. One afternoon Harry was screaming but no milk would come out. It was horrible. I never felt so useless in my whole life. My little baby was hungry and there was nothing I could do for him. I burst out crying, my mum took Harry away and comforted him, my gorgeous little boy cried himself to sleep, hungry. That was so so painful.

My mother helped me massaging the breasts and putting cold compress on them. Dave then helped me calming down, we goggled ways to keep things going and later that day, when it was feeding time, I took Harry to my bedroom where it was quiet, put our lullaby CD on  - to calm the two of us down - then I took a deep breath and went for it. It worked!

Now the milks was coming out and I had a content little guy. Still needed to use the shield as he would fuss and not feed without it, I didn't know by then but he had learnt to feed with the shield and had no clue of what to do without it. It was hard to feed him if I was out and the stress almost made me quit the BF thing all together. It may sound horrible but - thankfully - the idea of stopping made me feel too guilty so I kept going.

The thought of Harry being hungry for whatever reason, however, made me pop to the super market and buy him a box of formula milk just in case. That box of formula was the ghost of the BF problems we had. Whenever things were hard - specially on those days when little guy wouldn't have a day time kip and feed every hour - daddy D. would suggest; use the formula, it's in the cupboard. I know he meant well and never ever had anything against me BF Harry but in my head, I was just too scared that the would give up his mummy's milk to actually try anything.

It was a super stressful time but I'm happy we made it through it

I will post more on our Breastfeeding story on the next few days, watch this space!!!

It's festival season - what a difference a day makes

So Harry is ever closer to his first birthday and I have finally reached a huge milestone; today I went out for some me time with friends -and lill guy spent the day with daddy.

It was great to go out and be able to relax baby/nappy/pram free, even better to return home to a happy baby who had fun all day and done really well eating his food even with mummy around with her milk

 For the first time, since the week I found out about my pregnancy, i had  a good drink and let my hair down for a few hours

We visited Hampton Court Food Festival - booze festival more like it - a great place to mingle, sample some great cheeses and try some new foods and drinks.

I had a go trying an Ostrich burger and Ginger Grouse, a Whisky based ginger beer, ginger is not my thing - since the Mr is red headed I should make it clear that the ROOT ginger isn't my thing -  but Ginger Grouse was so refreshing, perfect for a nice sunny afternoon.

If you are in London or near Hampton Court and stuck for something to do during the bank holiday head over to the food festival, eat, drink and be merry.

This is not a sponsored post.

6 and 7 months - my little guy is so big now

Monday the 14th Harry turned 7 months but it sure feels like it was just the blink of an eye. With all that has been going on - ear infection coming and going - I almost left this post for the next month, but that already happened on the previous month so today I found a bit of energy deep inside of me to stop by and let you know how we are doing.

Well after 3 course of antibiotics he seems to be settling in and hopefully the infection is now gone gone. 

Of course teething is still here - although there are no teeth to tell you of - and that means sleepless nights and fractious days. I really cannot wait for those little chompers to cut through and hopefully bring him some relief.

On the feeding front we are still going with breast. Little monkey won't take a bottle. I've been trying all  tricks i read about on the web but no results. My next step? I'm planning on leaving him with a childminder for a couple of hours - I have a good recommendation for a local one - to see if not only he starts getting used to other people but also if she can get him to take a bottle. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to wean him off the breast just yet but with him feeding every 3 hours 24/7 for most of the past few weeks, i could do with a break every now and then.

All the infections and antibiotics and side effects means there hasn't been that much activity on the solids front. Partially because he doesn't seem very interested and partially because up to here it just felt like I had too much in my hand to also have to persuade little guy into experimenting with new things. On the past few days I felt he seemed a bit more interested on what I eat so I'm hoping to start the while solids story a bit more seriously this week. Of course I need a certain amount of planing and organisation to get anywhere but there is still hope.

Despite all the challenges of the past 2 months lill guy managed some to learn some new skills and whenever he is calm enough you can see his lovely character coming through. So our smiley little boy is now 17lb5oz - 7.850kg and about 28 inches, that around 72cm. Wants to sit up all the time and only recently started to do this fake cough whenever he wants some attention, cheeky!

MILESTONES

 

Sits without support - CHECK! i am particularly proud of this achievement because with the ear infection and the cold we haven't played on the floor for over a month so he had to learn to sit up on the soft sofa seat. He still a bit unstable but his skills seems to improve by the day.

Reaches for things with a sweeping motion - OH yes! I still amaze myself watching how agile little guy has become. 

Imitates speech sounds (babbles) - not much, he's making up his own new noises but i don't think he is imitating anything as yet.

Combines syllables into wordlike sounds - not at all but he has a very cute new trick, whenever we get to a a new place, or he wakes up somewhere different he looks around in admiration and says uuuuuhhhh. The cutest thing ever!

Begins to crawl or lunges forward - he started lunging forward as soon as he started to sit up. Harry isn't bother about rolling over as he found out he can get to his tummy by lunging forward from sitting postion. 

Stands while holding onto something - nope...but he sure loves when we hold him up so he can bouncy like a tennis ball.

Waves goodbye - not sure about that one, he does try to copy our hand gesture whenever we tell him to say goodbye AND for the past couple of days he starting waving both arms so hard it looks like he's ready to fly.

Bangs objects together  -AAAAALLLLL THE TIME

#R2BC - Reasons to be cheerful... 1, 2, 3

looking back at 2012 I've spent half of the year being pregnant and the other half learning to be a mum. i must say the second half is by far my favorite. Pregnancy wasn't exactly fun and even though being a mum is proper hard work, even overwhelming at times, it also is one of the most beautiful things I have ever done in my whole life. If I was ever to name one selfless act I'm sorry but being a mum isn't that. i love my little guy, in a way that I never thought was possible and whenever you do something for love you do it for that amazing feeling love brings. I do everything I do when looking after lovely Harry not because I am this saint of a person but because I want to see him happy as that makes me happy. so agree with me? Not selfless at all.

On that note - and to take part of one of my favorite memes for the first time- here are my three reasons to be cheerful this week:

1 - I have a lovely little boy, or a big baby as you wish. He is healthy and strong and as far as I can tell he is also a happy baby. I love the way his face lights up with a smile about a thousand times a day. He is extremely curious and inquisitive and I just cannot have enough of watching him discovering this world.

2 - I have an amazing partner who really embraced the daddy inside of him - who knew he had it in him at all? - I can see in his eyes how much he loves Harry and I just love watching them playing and bonding. Every morning after my cuddles Harry looks for his dad and he now gets smiles as huge as the ones I get after a good feed. He might not be perfect and neither am I but he is turning out to be a great dad and partner.

3 - my boobs. lol nope, I didn't go crazy or am about to write about my neckline. Feeding my little guy is one of the most amazing accomplishments of my life. As many others, we had a bit of a ruff start with lots of  challenges but thankfully we both stuck to it and 5 and a half months on my boy is healthy and happy and i'm back to reason 1.

This is a post for Reasons to be cheerful... 1,2,3. If you want to learn more about #R2BC click here and read about how the linky came about, be sure to link up, share your own reasons to be cheerful and visit the other blogs too.